Give Yourself Away

If I am only here for myself, I wouldn’t be here.

I am here because I believe God has a bigger plan for me bigger than my depression. I believe I have pieces of me that still need to be shared with others. I don’t live my life by other’s expectations of me, no, but I do live for other people. I live so other people can see how I made it, to see where hope can take you. I am here to love others and to experience raw emotion.

I could spend a lifetime loving myself but it wouldn’t compare to the joy that comes with sharing my naked, vulnerable story with someone or being able to witness someone come alive around you – letting them become completely themselves around you because they feel comfortable in your presence.

It has taken me awhile to find joy within myself, but it still does not compare to the joy found within the shared human experience. When you find people worth sacrificing for, people worth exchanging pages of your story, or even being able to freely give away pieces of yourself to watch them grow. That’s why I’m here. To love and to be loved. To give away pieces of myself for the greater community, for the environment, for the ones I love.

I wish to leave this earth with a happiness built on the wealth of human emotion and connection. When rest reaches me, I hope I can say that I gave away security; the chance to let someone feel safe within the grasp of my mind and arms. To say that I have felt sorrow beating on my chest, and I let someone close enough to help me breathe. That I put aside my pride to carry vulnerability, and to let my mind find comfort in the unearned kindness of others. I hope I freely gave away the same kindness that has been given to me, and that I began each day by giving grace to those around me, including myself.

I hope when I die, I have given away every piece of myself that I could – while remaining wholly my genuine self.

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